Lei Den's posts with tag: random thoughts
 one reason why i hate reading fashion magazines: they make me feel ugly. i know i'm not ugly, i'm just not beautiful. unattractive yes, but ugly no. seems good enough, but i do have inferiority complex -- no, make that super-inferiority complex that i can't control and it squeezes me white. i'm convinced i'm not worth very much. i've got so many issues about myself and i have enormous problems with self-image and low self-esteem. i always doubt myself, my actions, what i can do and what i want, as if i can't do anything right. i guess that's what really makes me downright ugly, worse than comparing myself to fashion magazine people. if i can do something about it I WILL. but right now i can't.
 Just to be with a friend when he needs you, somehow, it could make things betterShe was there, a familiar face he had not seen for a long time. She couldn't do anything, though, not even hug him. It was only her presence; she just sat there and listened. Wasn't much of a help, really. She wanted to say something, but she knew better than to scold him for whatever he had or had not done. After all, she had her shortcomings too. She just wanted to remind him that he's still got her and everyone else in his old pack.
It wasn't much, but still something.
When i say No, and it's plain No, that means NO. Just NO. Only NO. No, No, NO.
But when i say Uhm... no -- well, that means nagpapapilit lang ako. Pag pinilit ako na may kasamang Please, i'll probably say Yes. Yah, most probably it's a Yes. But without Please, i might say Uhm... sige na nga.
ayan. malamang wala nang makikipag usap sakin. i might as well talk to the hand nalang.
And becuz there's always something under someone's mattress, don't expect i don't have one. Basta. You won't know till you grow up. Just shut up, keep your nose clean and everything will be okay.
 sweeter than sweethearttastier than hunnythere's no other word more endearing than ...brother
(Princess Mess
strikes back)
_sheila said, "you do stupid things by yourself, and when you mess up you come running to us"_then marj went like, "yah, that's what you're good at"_and jeff told me, "you make simple things complicated"
_here's one from jeffsam - "learn to control your mood swings"eh? Really? Okay, i make a big deal out of simple things. And i'm only good at messing up. Plus i can't handle my mood swings. I guess they know me well enough to say those things to me. Right. Exactly what i need. I need them to kick my butt once in a while for me to behave. I'm just full of trouble sometimes._then there goes vincent: "always be a good girl."ha! we'll see about that. i can be a good girl, yes, but not always, as in always always. _but nothing beats fran - "take care. there are dragons everywhere."
Summer na naman! At this time it's supposed to be melting hot. But why... why... why on earth am i wearing my sweater? (it's called climate change, baby. Climate change)
Cool!  I don't like summer anyway. I don't like hot weather. Madali akong mainitan, madali rin akong ginawin. But i'd rather it's cold than hot. Freezing cold, as in hindi ako makakagalaw sa sobrang lamig. I know it's painful, but it's a kind of pain I like. Sabi ni Kuya Manny na nasa KSA ngayon, kung hindi ko pa raw nararanasan yung 15 degress mas lalong hindi ako makakatagal sa below zero. Eh basta. I don't like summer parin.
- kasi pag malamig it's a good excuse to hug someone. haayy... i'll hug my teddy bear
- and i can sleep comfortably under my thick blanket. I love my thick blanket. The orange one from Kuwait
- Sabi ni Kuya Vincent masarap daw mag-coffee kasi anlamig. Sige, kahit maligo ka pa sa kape!
- on cold weather i can run, run and RUN without sweating too much. I can play soccer HARDER with my little cousin and her friends
- i'm more prone to pimples during summer. Masakit sa balat!
Sometimes I wish summer would never come. But it has to come. Of course, it has to come -- to give way for indian mangoes and Jolly Shakes! See, things always have their good side. 
 | Speech | Feb 13, '08 11:54 PM
for everyone |
 ***This was my speech in college, for my subject Speech and Play Production. My professor said i was monotonous. Didn't matter. Anyway the message was more important than the delivery.Hit it -In various passages throughout the Bible, God reveals many answers to the riddles of science. Each verse is yet another piece of the enigmatic Bible-science puzzle. Together they support each other, strengthen our argument for the existence of a divine Creator, and reveal that the holy Bible can withstand the scrutiny of today's scientific challenges.In biology, we studied early life on earth, and we learned that plants preceded animals, animal life began in the sea, and finally, human beings came to existence. The chapter one in Genesis supports this, stating that the creation of plants was in the Third Day, before the creation of animals which was in the Fifth Day.Furthermore, science has learned that the first animal life appeared in the oceans. This correlates nicely with the Biblical record where the first mention of animals in the Bible places them in the Earth's waters. And finally, the Bible claims that humans were God's final creation, which was on the Sixth Day. Science agrees, maintaining that millions of years, and millions of creature of the air, land and sea would come, before human beings finally arrived.
Genesis 1:11 (plants preceded animals)
Genesis 1:20 (animal life began in the sea)
Genesis 1:26 (creation of man)
Some passages in the Bible not only support the beginning of life, but they present the Bible as being scientifically accurate at a time when its authors were not scientifically expert or had no knowledge of the scientific facts that we understand today. For instance, when at times that the earth was believed to be flat, prophet Isaiah already wrote that the earth is round. The existence of space was mentioned by Job in the Old Testament. The basic stages of the water cycle are described in the book of Job and Ecclesiastes.
Isaiah 40:22 (spherical earth)
Job 26:7 (existence of space)
hydrologic cycle:
Job 36:27-28
Job 26:8
Ecclesiastes 1:6-7
Why then, do most people think that science and Bible are not related? It's because they only rely on scientific facts and disregard the Biblical truths. They believe so much in unproven theories, when the proof is written in the Bible, if they will only seek it.
Isaiah 34:16
Both the natural world, which we study through science, and the Bible were created by God, so both must be mutually consistent. Wherever a discrepancy seems to exists, either a scientist of a theologian -- maybe both -- hasn't been doing his job. Basic logic tells us that every house declares a builder. As a Christian and a scientist, I believe that the Bible is concrete evidence on how the world works -- from a single cell organism to the vast galaxies in the universe. For once again, the science and Holy Bible is in perfect harmony.SOURCE:Holy Scripture Supported by Modern Science; by Jim SchicatanoContact; by Carl Sagan
vienamarie came over last week to borrow my physics book. i remembered she had told me that she's gotten married. medyo hindi ako naniwala, although may possibility naman, so i asked her just to confirm. akala ko kasi joke nya lang yun. at ang magaling na babae, NAG-ASAWA NGA. damn. buntis pa ang bruha. 7 months. i wouldn't have noticed if she hasn't told me. tama, buntis nga sya. genuine yung nasa sinapupunan nya, as in TOTOONG TAO.
wakaranai. pano nanyare yun? eh hindi nga sya pinapayagan ng daddy nya na magka-boyfriend, tapos ngayon... HHAAA!! i was like, N-N-N-NAAANIII??!
ganyan ba? ganyan ba ang tunay na kaibigan? nag-asawa na di man lang nagpaalam? so we can't go out together now becuz she has someone else, ganun. nakakalungkot naman, hindi na sya dalaga. i hope i will stay single forever.
Once upon a time, Princess Mess slept for about a hundred years. Then one day Prince Not-So-Charming came and woke her up
So what was the choice? No choice. She had to fall in love with him.
But the trouble was, Prince Not-So-Charming was not in love with Princess Mess. He was just doing his job, you know, wake her up, take her back to the castle, done. And she wasn't Sleeping Beauty anyway. Plus, I didn't say Prince Not-So-Charming woke Princess Mess up with a kiss. He just splashed cold water on her. That's how romantic he could get.
 A good intention doesn't end with a plan. It must be executed, it must be done.What's a good intention for if it remains only an idea?It’s always happening that I have a good objective, but couldn’t put it to action.Nothing happens. Too bad. All thoughts and no action makes Lyden one great L-O-S-E-R.I understand that whether I do something or not, I remain worthless. But at least I want to be a part something significant – in my own little way.I don’t want to make myself stagnant becuz it’s such a big problem.Planning is one thing, doing is another.I probably need a little push ... and a lot of pull.
 Yan na nga ang sinasabi ko eh. Para na kong MEMORY GAP NA NAGKATAWANG-TAO kasi lagi nalang akong nakakalimot. Bakit ba? Kumakain naman ako ng pork, beans, at SANGKATUTAK NA JUNK FOODS pero lagi nalang akong nakakalimot ng mga minor things tulad ng
* saan ko ba iniwan yung suklay ko?
* sino nga ba tatawagan ko?
* nag-lotion na ba ko?
* AT SAAN KO BA NAILAGAY ANG PHONE NUMBER NG CRUSH KO?? 
Isa kong malaking ulyanin (hindi nga ako malaki eh, technically speaking)
So pano ba to? i'm only 23 pero mas ulyanin pa ko sa mamma ko *kamote*
And by the way, Cathy said i look like Dory the fish.
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...
* * *
Ang gamot sa nakakalimot ay paalala. At ang gamot sa tanga ay... WALA! walang gamot sa tanga, sis. Pakabait ka nalang.
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...
 Obviously, dreaming is different from pretending.Like we always say, there is no harm in dreaming. You're always free to dream whatever you want. It may be silly, profound or even impossible; but in any case it is only a dream. It would not hurt anyone.But when you pretend to be someone you're not, you begin to tell lies which sometimes get a little too complicated. You deceive people, most of all you deceive yourself. And often you wouldn't like the consequences. You gotta pay the piper.Better keep it real. There is nothing to be ashamed for being honest.
 alam ko mga boring na tao lang ang gumagawa ng Top Ten Things tulad nito. wala akong magagawa, isa ako sa mga pinaka-boring na tao sa mundo.
so here it goes...
Top Ten Bad Mood Remedies: 10. Soccer - imagine the ball as the ugly face of my enemy *kick* YAAAHH!! 9. Write - isulat LAHAT ng sama ng loob sa papel (at least yung papel walang nararamdaman.) saka itatapon sa trash can. ayoko na ng isa pang volume ng diary na puno ng sama ng loob. 8. Food trip - okay, i'm not at emotional eater. 7. Sleep - as usual, tulugan ang sama ng loob, and hope that when i wake up everything is better. ZZzzz... 6. Movie marathon - action-comedy-suspense-thriller-scifi-horror-romance-anime-drama-fantasy-adventure. 5. Read - book, magazine, newspaper, science... Bible 4. Net surfing - yah, magbabad sa radiation. 3. Gameboy - para lang sa mga isip-batang tulad ko. 2. Sound trip - "enriching the spirit, inspired by music" 1. of course, nothing beats a GOOD PRAYER. Philippians 4:6
- Perfect parents. That means parents who would let me do whatever i want.
- A time turner. To bring back happy memories and undo my stupid acts. i don't know how complicated it would get if i'd change the past (i've watched The Butterfly Effect), anyway it's impossible isn't it? Why bother..
- A baby brother. Mom's too old for that.
- i actually want a baby of my own, preferably a boy. Healthy, cute, everything a baby is except a prick.
- Steven. He's like a junk food -- tastes good but bad for my health
 - My private plane. It costs all of my properties times $17M and probably my life as well
 - Complete teeth. When it's gone, it's gone. Don't bother the tooth fairy.
- Magic. Could make things easier, yes. But love is enough, and i've got plenty of it from my brothers and sisters.
Lately I’ve been receiving e-mails from my classmates in college, updating me about their lives – and they do have lives. Jo’s married; Judie's got a kid. Lanie's pregnant; Abby, Flo and Asset are, I think, touring around the Philippines; Geri’s taking a master’s degree. What the heck, they just used to be nominees for the Most Boring Person in the World; but, congratulations to me, I won the title. So while my classmates get busy with their businesses and update me about their lives, I’m here updating my blog and talk about myself as if I were someone important. Yah, that’s what I do becuz I don’t have a worldly life. I’m just a worthless servant. Anyway I don’t want to get married, or get pregnant, or take master’s degree. Being a worthless servant is a worthy life after all.
 Natutunan ko po na hindi masamang isuko ang pride para sa katotohanan
kung itatago ang totoo, lalabas din yan sa tamang panahon
at maaaring magdulot yun ng kahihiyan at ang pride na iniingatan mo ay mawawala rin sayo
Mabuti pang sabihin na habang maaga. Mabuti nang nanggaling sayo, at yung hindi na kailangan pang matuklasan sa di inaasahang paraan dahil mas masakit lang sa ulo yun!
Some questions are best answered with "I invoke my right to privacy"
The problem with me is... i've been so used to concealing my emotions. I have never let anyone in on any of my personal concerns, or even those which are not really too personal at all, but i would rather keep them to myself. The only confidant i ever had in my life was... a notebook. Right. A damn stupid notebook. As if it was going to save my life! (anyway, i already burned the stuff.)
But somehow i know i have to let it out. It's getting a little too much to handle on my own. I should trust the people who trust me. They deserve that.
So i guess as much as i hate questions, this time i will have to deal with them. I'll face it like a man. I know i should stop giving that "don't ask, won't tell lies" crap. I'm getting sick of it.
What's that phrase Vincent has taught me? Taihen desu ne.
 i love it when it rains, so long as it doesn't flood. I love to watch it from my window, or from the bus i'm riding.. anywhere. I love to watch the rain fall; i feel contented with my life when i watch it. Not the violent kind of rain, though. The rain's like full of blessings. Don't know why, i just feel like it.even if i'm in the middle of traffic jam and get stranded becuz of the heavy rain, i really don't mind it at all. I actually like getting stranded in traffic, but only when going home; i don't want to get stuck in traffic when i need to go to an appointment. It's like an excuse to doing nothing, just sit and wait and imagine stuffs. I feel peaceful watching the rain fall from a bus or a car, stranded somewhere, listening to a good music, waiting for nothing...
 IF ONLYBiktima rin ako ng two words na to. Gusto ko sanang ibalik ang nangyari na para ayusin ko yun. Pero… WALA. Hindi na pwede dahil nangyari na nga eh. Old motto: what’s done is doneAng buhay ay hindi VTR. Di pwedeng i-rewind, di pwedeng i-edit, di pwedeng mag-fast forward para malaman ang future, at walang pause. Continuous play lang talaga kaya wala ka nang magagawa sa bad shots mo. You just have to learn from it and hopefully never do it again.Kaya bago pa maging biktima ng TWO WORDS, suriing mabuti ang mga ginagawa. Mag-assess na bago pa lumala ang sitwasyon.Based on experience: it may be too late before you know it
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